Scabies Sex quiz

1. I have sex:

When I want to
When my partner wants to
When my hand wants to

2. I would prefer to have sex:

When I want to, providing I can get the damn thing up
When my partner wants to, providing I can get the damn thing up
When my hand wants to, providing Mom's Victoria's Secret catalog arrived

3. When it comes to my sex life:

I'm a stud! What can I say?
It's okay, you know, for a guy who's been circumcised
I wish this lump of flesh would just dry up and fall off!

4. During my sexcapades with women they can be heard uttering:

"Do you smell smoke?"
"You remind me of my dad"
"Permane' ser sentavos por favor"

5. When I have sex I think of:

The saucy wench I'm enthralling
My mother
Whether my Mom's Victoria's Secret catalog arrived

6. I first lost my virginity:

In my Dad's truck
In my Mom's sedan
On the school bus

7. Right at the moment of orgasm I've been known to scream:

"Do it to me baby!"
"Whoopsy daisy!"
"Don't give me a baby!"

8. When I'm out with my buddies and thoroughly plastered I'll lie about the number of conquests I've had by a factor of:

2 to 1
5 to 1
Whatever it takes to get the guys to stop laughing at me!

9. I prefer a girl who:

cooks like Mom
has a sense of humor like Mom
spanks like Mom

10. I surf adult web sights primarily for:

The excellent writing
Wrist calisthenics
Paying homage to satin